Path to Awakening
by batsh-crazy
Summary: Fan theory of events that might have happened between Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens leading to some of the problems in TFA. WARNING: Spoilers for The Force Awakens! Don't read if you don't want spoilers! Also warning: ick factor for pairing Luke/Leia.


Author's Note: I'm sorry. Really. I don't even know what to say but... enjoy? Spoilers for The Force Awakens. It's what inspired this fic, anyway.

A more spoiler-y summary would be: Why would Luke run away when the light side needs him most? Why is he missing? Surely he's hiding something! Well, here's a fan theory for what he did wrong.

* * *

"You love him," Han said, "don't you?"

"Yes," she said smiling into his eyes. She saw the look on his face and realized that needed some explanation. "It's not like that – he's my brother." It wasn't like Luke would ever grab her and kiss her as passionately as this man in front of her. Luke was an important part of her life, but never like that. And he was her brother. She liked the thrilling insanity that emanated from Han. It was magnetic. She couldn't imagine making any other choice.

She laughed at the look on his face at the revelation, and kissed him. He could be so darn cute, too.

* * *

It had been true, mostly. Leia sat back against a cushioned seat in her now silent set of rooms with a sigh. She loved Han with a fiery passion, but she should have known that would also lead to furious arguments. It was times like these that she caught herself thinking of ages ago, when she had pressed her lips to Luke's. It had been nice. Safe. He had responded but not demanded. Sometimes she wanted to feel like she was safe instead of falling.

She shook her head. What was she thinking! She was upset, but she still loved the man.

Perhaps she ought to talk to Luke about it. Her brother – she held the word in her head to reinforce it – her _brother_ was quickly becoming the most reasonable voice on the council. And – she would feel safe with him.

She paced the floor. Why did Han want to do something so reckless? Provoking the dredges of the empire was like poking a bee's hive. No good could come of it, and he might get his fool head killed.

She stopped herself with an effort. Luke. She would go talk to Luke, instead of spinning this around in her head.

* * *

Leia startled Luke as she burst into his rooms with barely a knock. Not many people did that to him anymore.

She was upset. He didn't like the look on her face.

They were siblings, as close as two people of the opposite gender can be – fraternal twins. They had shared a womb together, but they hadn't grown up together. Instead, Leia often felt like his other half. His home. He could feel her mind more clearly than anyone's and right now it felt like a thundercloud. His fingers itched to fix it. He left the saber he was tinkering with without a thought.

"Leia, what's wrong?" he said, guiding her to a more comfortable room.

That was enough to break the cloud, and tears started.

"Luke, I..." she started, forcing the words through the tears.

"Shhh, no," he quieted her, settling her on the most comfortable thing his Spartan rooms offered, his bed. He considered the shared sitting room, but he knew Leia needed privacy right now. He didn't want her to be worried about the other teachers he was training for his soon-to-be jedi academy stumbling upon them. The way of the jedi dictated using nothing more than what is needed, but maybe he did need a private lounge. He would look into it later. Right now, Leia needed him. "Cry all you want, Leia, no one is going to see you here."

She nodded, and buried her head in his shoulder.

He held her as she shook and quieted soon after. Luke eyed her carefully. He hadn't seen her this upset for years.

"Leia?" he asked softly once she had been quiet for a time. "Is it Han? Do you want to talk about it?"

He felt her sigh, more than heard her and she wriggled around so that they could see each other's faces. "I heard about..."

She shook her head and stopped him. "I knew about the Corellian girl. I don't mind that. I just –" she shook her head. "I don't know. We fight all the time. We just fought, even though he's leaving..." she gulped. "He already left."

"He'll come back, Leia, you know he will. He always does." Luke could feel it.

"He'll come back, I just... I have a bad feeling about it," Leia frowned. "I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't listen to me."

Luke held her close. He didn't like the sound of hopelessness in her voice.

* * *

Leia held on to Luke as more and more came spilling out. Not just about Han, she realized, but it was the council, too. The whole of the rebellion forces were giving her a headache. She realized, dimly she realized, that she might have been using her fights with Han as her only way of blowing off steam. There was more. She kept talking.

Finally, she had to stop. There wasn't anything else to say. She looked in terror at all broken pieces that still needed to be nit together. There was so much to do, and so few were actually doing it. She gripped Luke. She thought she might cry again, but it wasn't going to change anything.

"Hey," Luke said, startling her out of her reverie with a soft touch on her face.

She blinked, and looked into his eyes, less than a hand span from her own and full of worry. She didn't want him to be worried, she wanted...

* * *

Luke had never felt their connection so strongly. He knew what she wanted, and he knew he had never really stopped wanting it.

He raised his hand back to her face, and caressed it softly. He pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. Then he tilted his head and breathed her breath for a moment. He left his lips just a hair from her own, adjusting, testing. Seeing if she really wanted to go through with this. She slid in and pressed her lips to his.

He felt her relief, just as he felt the eagerness in her response as she kissed him.

She kissed back far more expertly than he could have kissed her. He held her close, marveling in how he could feel her mind relax into his. He could tell how she wanted to be touched, and he was amazed that he could just do it. He ran his hand down her side to her hip. She twisted to face him.

* * *

Leia pressed her lips to his, marveling at how soft, how accepting, and careful they felt. It was so different from... well. She wasn't really going to think about that.

The important thing was that she was in control here, completely in control of what was going on. She pulled off her jacket and started undoing buttons. She was going to take advantage of it.


End file.
